How to exclude trolls – or not

How to exclude trolls from your blog I don't dare to approve comments

Just need to say! You, who have written me a comment that you really mean; I’m so grateful.

Reading through the comments I notice that several of the comments are a repeat of another with just two words changed or the nice have changed name. Just a few examples. I hope you understand that I don’t dare to accept all comments since I’m

  1. scared of getting hacked
  2. don’t dare to believe that someone really means what they’re saying, I believe it’s a troll
  3. I’m scared of feeling stupid due to me believing that someone read my blogpost and liked it

I do hope you understand me and that you can forgive me!

To everyone that has read my blogposts I'm truly grateful!!! I really appreciate you and I'm hoping that I will help you out in some way!

Just a quick one

When one of your loved ones gets ill.

Because of the wind combined with a little chilly temperatur I wasn’t able to take my walk with Wille until it turned dark. There were so much for him to sniff at and the children’s laughter from the hill where they were sledding there where many noises for him to ponder of.

When we came home my MS-body were stiff, but not as stiff as it would have been if I had taken that when the wind blew. At our step up to the door Wille had went one lap around my legs so I had to put down the leash to yank my feet out of the mess. So from that I didn’t have my eyes on his, I just focused on the leash and getting my up that stare and letting us in. When inside I sat down on our “bench” and I took that knitted reflex vest off of Wille. When I’d done that I saw his right eye…

It was blinking and it squinted. I looked into it; I’ve work as a nurse so somethings I can do. 😉 It wasn’t more red than the other and there were no filth or goo in it. So I made a call to the veterinarian on call. 

 

There were so much for him to sniff at when we got to the clinic. He ate his food after our walk and he played with the kids after I made the call to him, so at least it wasn’t entirely bad with him. But still; eyes are important stuff! His eyes were thoroughly examined and the conclusion was that he had a inflammation in his eye. Not in the tissue around his eyes in the eye socket but IN his eye. He got a shot of medicin against his inflammation and pain that it causes. After that we went home (my  husband drove me because at that time I’m usually in bed because of I’m really tired by then). The doctor said that if the medicine hadn’t worked by today and his eye still were like that we had to contact them today. So it was a anxious me who gave him the 2 different sorts of eyedrops last night before going to bed.

Because of the light from the window you can’t see it, but his eye is much much better today. As long as he hasn’t got light around him his eye is open. We’ll need to continue with his medication as prescribed and on Friday we have an appointment for a revisiting at the veterinarian clinic. And me and my family will be anxious until the time we’ll know that his sight is normal again. At least that is what we really hope for. Give me the COVID – just promise me our little Wille will have a healed eye.



Barn- och ungdomsyoga är rörelseglädje

Barnyoga för alla

Alla barn, oavsett om de har fysiska hinder eller ej, kan yoga. Detta är något som jag brinner för! Tyvärr gör min MS att jag brinner ganska långsamt men min plan är att jag ska kunna hjälpa barn- och ungdomar med olika fysiska hinder att yoga om det är något de vill göra!

 För barn upp till ca 10 års ålder brukar det vara roligast att knyta an övningar till olika övningar där de får föreställa sig att de är djur, i vardagssituationer, i olika miljöer eller kanske platser. För de yngre kan de med fördel göra yoga i form av en saga.

Även barn utan fysiska hinder är individuella och övningarna kan behövas anpassas till individen. Framför allt gäller det också för barn med fysiska hinder; någon som kanske måste sitta på en stol och yoga eller som är rullstolsburen. Men ALLA kan yoga! Ett barn med fysiska hinder kan dock behöva assistans i vissa övningar (beroende på deras hinder). Detta skapar dock ett ypperligt tillfälle för föräldrar, syskon, mor- och farföräldrar, pedagoger eller sjukvårdspersonal att hitta på något mysigt tillsammans med, umgås med, barnet.

Många gånger kallas yogan för ‘rörelseglädje’ när vi talar om yoga för barn och yngre äldre barn då orden yoga kan vara laddat på olika sätt. ‘Flummigt’ är en värdeladdning ordet ‘yoga kan ha…

Under uppbyggnad…

Min tanke är att i framtiden ha grupper där vi på något vis träffas och yogar,  har rörelseglädje, tillsammans. I någon form. Då tänker jag framför allt på barn med någon form av fysiska hinder. Stötta föräldrar och barn och ha roligt tillsammans. I väntan på det kommer här ett litet smakprov på en yogasaga i juletid.

Och nej, jag är inte så sur och arg som jag ser ut. Fråga min make: jag har ett väldigt bestämt ansikte utan att vara sur… Men jag skrattar ofta och gärna och då ser jag inte så sur ut. Får passa på att säga att jag är inte proffs på att filma varför mina ögon ser lite otäcka ut på filmen. Bara en liten varning.

 

How to manage you failing to reach your 2020 goals?

Or is it really a failure? Isn't it just you learning about yourself and your

ability to adapt to new circumstances?

Goal assessment for 2020
All of you probably wonder ‘ what the *biiip* happened this year? You had plans and thoughts for this new decade, your family, your friends, your hobbies, your workouts etc, etc. How did you manage seeing your plans just float away with this pandemic flue? Did you revise your goals, adapt them after this new situation or did you float away too with the pandemic, not bothering to even try to set up things you wanted for yourself and your close ones?

Feelings of guilt

I do feel guilty for writing a post when I haven’t looked at your comments for… I don’t no when. ‘Feeling guilty’ is something I’ve been working hard with for years, but I’m guilty of ‘feeling guilt’ about most things in life. In the goals I wrote for this year I wanted to get rid of ‘feeling guilty’ and always ask my self ‘why didn’t I say/do what ever it was about’? I’m still working on that goal.

But I do feel disappointed that I’ve had to prioritize other areas of my life when I know that amongst all those spams are comments that warms my heart. And soul! Thank you all that have made so kind comments! When I started to blog it wasn’t about comments, it was about hopefully help someone with some aspect of having a chronic illness so these kind comments I’ve gotten are a bonus for me!

Me not having the time to go thru your comments has made me stay away from the computer and just write ‘a little something’. I’ve felt, and am still feeling, ungrateful for your comments. But I want to say to you, from the bottom of my heart; THANK YOU!!! I will read them.

2020, do I need to say more?

Well, this year has been strange for all human inhabitants of this world in some way or form. It has given me experiences that I didn’t even imagine me having to experience, not only the experience of a Pandemic flue. I’ve felt my body decay due to anemia that prevented me from doing heartbeat-increasing workout. That lead to even more decreasing of my physics… When I’ve gotten my two bags of blood, my first transfusions ever, I was  not in a good shape. On top of that I’ve had a cold more than I’ve been healthy from the beginning to the end of this ‘God forgotten year’. So now I’m not in a good shape. Though, importantly, I’m still able to walk a couple of kilometers. And I’ve been working out more frequently now than in the beginning of the year. But I really need to get better working on my cardio.

The pandemics effect on my family life

It caused that I wasn’t able to visit a close ones deathbed. He lived more than two hours away from us – and due to the COVID regulations and me being in a risk group, I wasn’t able to go there. And I missed his funeral.

My daughter have been to school via the computer at home. It meant that I’ve gotten the role as teacher every now and then on subjects I’ve needed to read about to be able to help her at least a little. I can’t deny that I’ve appreciated having her home to some amount. She’s so old now! I can’t fully get that to my mind.

My sons school has been open since he’s still in compulsory school. But for even the simplest cold he had to stay home due to the risk of having the COVID. The same goes for my husband – for the simplest cold he’s had to stay home from work. Me being cold almost all the time is probably the one who has spread the colds… But I don’t get how I’ve gotten them? I’ve been isolated due to COVID almost all the time!!!

Thankfully none of us have tested positive for COVID! Even though the kids have classmates or classmates families that have tested positive. And my daughter have been out with friends to restaurants, shopping malls and partys… I do understand why COVID increased in those ages. They don’t really seems to get the urgency staying home. Yet me, my childrens grandparents and my sister in law are in risk groups. This has caused me a lot of headaches due to the fact me not being listened to when it comes to the importance of not being out and about.

Not being able to meet family and friends

This causes pain in your soul, as you probably have noticed. The fact that we live in one of Swedens rainiest citys hasn’t facilitated meeting others. It is not just to decide ‘we’ll meet then out there’. It isn’t fun being outdoors freezing and wet… Sure, FaceTime, ordinary phone calls, have been used, but it is not the same thing. Better than nothing. But my best friend isn’t quite comfortable with ‘that kind of dates’ so… Miss her! Met her for ten minutes outdoors when I gave her my christmas present.

I miss my sister and her family. Since her wife is more sensitive than me for infections and since I’ve been having colds all the time… 

But…

Before the pandemic showed up and in-between the periods of stricter rules I’ve been able to meet some friends. And my sister and her son was here for a short visit at my parents house. So they came to my house and met my family out on our wooden deck and had coffee. We had to have warm clothes since it was in the beginning of autumn but it was cozy! And her son, now 7 years, and my kids 18 and 14 years had a great time!

On Christmas day we met up with my husbands parents, two of his brothers with their families and significant others to two of my childrens cousins. We were down by the lake where my husband and his brothers grew up and   grilled a lot of sausages. 

 

The positive side of COVID

Can’t believe that I’m saying this, but yes, there is a positive side. And no, I would still prefer that the COVID never existed.

So what is it about this years experiences that have been positive? Well, the likelihood of being outdoors this much just to see friends and family would not have been without COVID. We would have met indoors instead. Getting air is healthy 😉

Goalsetting

I wouldn’t have thought this much about what’s important to me. The goals I set before  this year have been examined thoroughly during the year. Instead of getting disappointed in myself for not getting toward my goals I’ve tried to think ‘how can I do this differently to get closer to my goals?’ . Some of my goals I’ve just crossed over and written ‘COVID’ or ‘Anemia’ or something else.

 

Mäkse Life Planning

I’ve really gotten in to the concept that Serena from Mäkse Life uses in her planner. I can’t recommend her planner enough! This content and her recommendations of how to look on the goals your setting up; that they aren’t cut in stone. They need to be revisited and possibly revised or deleted. Watch her Youtube-channel! I’m using a bullet journal instead of her planner since it costs a lot to get her planner to Sweden and I’m not particularly full of cash… There’s a lot of materials that she offers for free and with the help from that material I’ve been able to integrate her method in my Bujo.

 

Why, why, why do we need to set goals and always plan

No, we don’t. You can fly with *what ever the saying is in English* and take the day completely as it comes. In some way that is just what COVID made us do. But for me it keeps me reminding myself why I want to achieve something and how I’m able to get there. This ‘why’ is so important to me. The things I do should be something that me or my family gains something from. I need to do my workout, yoga, meditation to keep my body as healthy as this *biiiip* body of mine is able to be. And since I feel better doing workout, yoga, meditation I get an easier person to live with and maybe I’ll also become a funny person to share a house with…

Just an example of how I think. Our life is so different compared to many other families. Im not saying that they don’t have struggles, but their struggles are unique to them.

Our struggles are unique to us. And by having my goals for me and my family in mind I can plan mine and my family days in away that they are less burdensome.

My family’s struggling with me becoming more and more a disable person who’s not able to do things or go places where I’m use to. We went out for a walk in the nature by the lake we live by. Where we went is a very beautiful place and the hike there is filling up your energy level. But this time…

Our walk that would have taken my family 15-20 minutes to take ended taking an endless time because of my body. In the end my husband more or less had to drag me towards the parking. And at the final end he put me on a stone beside the road and got the car in which our kids and dog had already been for a long time. 

I cried and I cried. The people in the windshield where I was sitting had seen me the last meters so deep inside I figured out that they felt for me. But as I sat there I felt nothing but pity from them. That made e cry even more. But mostly I cried because I now knew that I never would be able to hike there again considering the narrow paths, stones and roots. 

And now my goals comes in place…

Figuring out my bodys capabilities as it is ‘right now’ has been one of my goals. I have added a walking stick when I’m walking to enable me taking walks despite my bad balance. I’m taking longer and more often breaks than I had to before. I’ve changed my workout so it fits my physical abilities. I’ve changed at what time I’m going to bed and when I get up so I will get the most out of my days accordingly to what my body allows. 

I’ve changed so much that when some days had passed from this defat  at Helgö (the place of our hike) I thought “are you just accepting this? You love the lake, you love to walk in the forrest! Are you just letting these things go without trying new ways, other ways, to enable these kind of hikes?”

Result of setting goals

My goals forced me to become me again. Me, who finds solutions. Not giving up without a fight (which I’ve tended to do many times). I tried to work when the body said ‘no’. I found a new way to get myself a meaning when I’m not able to work. No, I sat down and went through what had hindered me on this hike. And I found ways to manage those hinders and I will damn it try these options before I call it a quit!!! I will be back there. Bringing a large thermos with coffee (with milk) and something good to chew on and a blanket to sit on. That this hike normally would take 15-20 minutes aren’t important. I just to have to made sure that it can take a couple of hours to do this. But it’s oh so worth it! You should see that place in the spring. Or in the summer. The birds, the green trees, the forest flowers, the rocks going into the water. It’s a perfect place to recharge your batteries. Especially if you have a body and mind as I.

 

What do I really want to achieve with this post???

My intentions this year were to share more about being chronically ill and how you can make your day less horrible. Maybe to be able to help a significant others to someone who’s ill and I wanted my ‘yoga business’ to get going. But the helpful posts have been few and my income from my business is zero. No, I’ve had to revise my goals a lot this year. But I’ve managed to do 4 short films about yoga for children in wheelchair. Another day I’ll try to post at least one of them.

But for now;

I wish you all a happy ending of this strange and shitty year and a considerably better new year!!! Just bring on 2021 - I think I'm ready for it.

I’m genuinely apologizing to you!

I didn’t mean to disappear like this! I didn’t plan being away this long nt writing or reading and responding to comments.

My physical status have gone crazy; it has just went down and continued doing so. With this short post I just want to shortly explain that right now I’ve been forced to change my priorities – I’m just doing what my body allows which is not much… I spend most of my days in bed right now and I’m in the beginning of my doctors ‘investigations’ of what’s wrong. So I don’t know if I’m like this because my MS has gotten worse or if it’s some kind of virus or bacteria that’s messing me up. This moment I’m waiting for the answers from my test for bacteria in my urine and on my Cover -19-test. Not until I get answer of my Covid-test I’ll be able to leave the prescribed blood tests. That is if my Covid-test is negative…

You just have to love Covid… Me being cold most of this year hasn’t helped things out. But at least I haven’t had Covid! Yet, that is.

My intentions and hopes are that I will read all comments and I still want to have ‘yoga classes’ on my YouTube channel. But the lack of strength in my muscles, it feels as if they are filled with jelly, and the fatigue is killing me.

I beg of your forgiveness and pleas be patient with me and this blog. I need to learn whether this state of mine is going to stay or, hopefully, temporary. When I know I will tell. Maybe I can make short posts like this, not caring about SEO, keywords or the look of the post. But just to show you how I tackle my oh so tired days.

Bye for now. Yours sincerely,

Fina.


PS! The worst thing about the picture above is that it really shows what I look like…

Mindful of being scatterbrained

MINDFUL OF BEING SCATTERBRAINED

Me enjoying life

I’ve had the most wonderful days Wednesday-Sunday past week! I can’t remember when I last could enjoy so many days in a row with almost none sadness in mind.

My family was supposed to leave Sweden for a vacation in Greece last week, but something about a virus called Covid -19  (have you heard of it? I surly haven’t…) happened to the world. So just a couple of weeks ago my husband found a cottage for rent on a camping site in Haverdal, situated at the western coast of Sweden.  And being there I realized that I wouldn’t have change that trip against the trip to Greece. The reason for that might be the hot and sunny weather we were lucky to have. And I can tell you that the nights felt just like a night at a hotel in Greece – sweaty…

Of course there were the usual feelings of sadness for not being able to stay up in the evenings playing Yatzy and cards with the hubby and kids, for not being able to take the strolls as I normally do on the dunes, for not having the body strength in the evening to play adventure golf with the family and so on. But actually, that sadness was almost non. The feelings of letting my family done was almost down to zero

 

The power of mindfulness

Lots of mindfulness practices

That is what I’ve done, many hours (when I add them together). I’ve really tried hard to get my yoga and meditation done everyday, and yes, there are days I’ve gotten none of them done. But I’ve also allowed my to just pause every now and then to see all there are to se around me, whether I’m indoors or outdoors. Sniff up all the senses. To listen to the sounds around me. To feel what my body feels like right then. Or feel the wind against my arms. 

My breathing is something I return to several times a day. To get my breathing all the way down in my belly. It helps my stressed out brain to slow down and it’s helpful against my pain. And of cause – it gives oxygen to my brain. 

And I really try to listen to my body, what can I do without getting a pissed off body that does anything it can to make my day miserable. This is why I’ve not finished my web course about doing yoga in a wheelchair. I’m struggling with it but I’m getting better when it comes to accept the fact that my body, not my brain, decides what I can or can’t to.  But being mindful about my body and its limitation helps me understand myself better.

 

Harvesting of my training

This trip we took I really managed to be ‘mindful’ using mindfulness. I enjoyed the sounds – there were so many birds!!! Not many seagulls, but birds with wonderful vocalizations. Children laughing, the thunder (no rain), the wind in the trees, splashing in the ocean and so on and so on.

I could feel all the scents from the sea, foods, flowers, grass and also some not so nice scents…

The sun warming my skin, the wind making the warmth tolerable, my hair tickling my nose (not so comfortable), the soft and warm sand, the too hot pavement, the sand that had made its way on to my bedsheets…

I felt the taste of the sweet ice-cream, the taste of newly brewed coffee, the taste of the most delicious pizza I’ve probably ever eaten.

And my inside felt joy! Joy about being my kids enjoying their days. Joy when they played with our dog on the beach. (Yes, dogs were allowed where we were.) Joy when seeing our dog realizing that he loves to dig in the sand. The joy I felt when I stayed up longer than usual to watch the rest of my family playing adventure golf while I had our oh so wonderful dog on my lap. 

 

Short about social distancing

Yes, it worked out just fine. Everybody kept the distance on the camping ground and the restaurants we ate. I never went into the store since I’m in the group of “high risk people” when it comes to getting it. Unfortunately my throat have been sore since yesterday so the packages I ordered haven’t been picked up yet.(papers for my office and a cordless vacuumcleaner (to make it easier for my to vacuum our house. I always get in to a fight with the one we have since either the cord or the   box that holds the dust bag, ALWAYS get stuck on something.) 

Ok. Just had to pause and breath for a minute. I get angry just talking about vacuum cleaners…

 

Please, let me share my experiences with you

The course I’m making is in Swedish. But if there’s an interest of yoga in a wheelchair in English, please reach out! 

I have plans of making courses or events, like Facebooklive or youtube live, about yoga for children and youths, for beginners. I want to share and hold courses in meditation and mindfulness, what I as a chronic ill/former trained nurse/closeone to person with cancer person has found use of it.

I so want to be useful for others. Analyzing that statement: am I doing it for feeling good about myself or genuinely wants to help others? This is something I’ve asked myself over and over again. I decided that the reason is to feel good about myself I have to stop having my blog, stop trying to make a course and just focus on my life as a wife, mother and friend (and all the other things I am). 

I truly want to be helpful because I know (and you know that I know if you’ve read earlier posts) that yoga, mindfulness, meditation and getting a normality to your not so normal life are cam be good for you. 

 

Peace out!