when life is about survival…

This is all I have to say today… almost. When I left the message on my boss’s answering machine my voice was broken. Yes, my body is stopping to work, but it’s the ability to work as “all the rest “ that really makes me depressed/sad.


As I said on insta: I need to feel that I contribute to the familys economy otherwise I can’t shop or do the things I do without a clear conscious.


Right now I’m hating HATING the MS

My favourite way of coping – enjoying sun in good company

just wanted to say…


This is one of those days when I feel that everything I will try to do will end up in a disaster. So I take it as easy as possible. Luckily for me the sun is shining and my little corner was warm. Coffee, me and our dog enjoyed the company of the sun. As one as me, someone having PPMS or another chronic disease or syndrome, it is important to do what I did. I ignored the most to-dos for a moment and just inhaled in the air of springtime. My coping strategy: denial. Denying what my future have in store.

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So tired of fatigue, pain and always hurting myself

Fatigued-Too tired to even go and getting a glass of water

I have been home from work since I got my antibodytreatment February 20. First it was because I always get a week after treatment where I am even more tired, the Fatigue is so enlarged, compared to before treatment. But this time I got virus infection during that week. Just to be expected since everybody has it right now and my family also we’re infected. Continue reading “So tired of fatigue, pain and always hurting myself”

Well this is it

Throughing myself in to this. Again. But in this case a little bit more seriously. Last time, 2015, I did it because I did not feel well at all, but no doctor was taking me seriously. I tried all different ways to manage my situation, amongst them; starting a blog. A blog of creative shit. And I still love that kind of shit, still talking shit. I am so sorry for saying bad words (talking to my sister and mother), but it would not be me if I did not say some bad words, every now and then. This morning has been all about shit. Actual shit.

Continue reading “Well this is it”