If you’ve ever felt down or depressed for a longer time you know what it does to your brain. Your ability to remember things to do, meetings, children activity and at what time your spouse has his or hers workout and so on. Even remembering that you need to do the laundry and what sort of laundry you need to do that day becomes difficult. (And here I need to take a break cause this reminded me that I do have laundry to take care of now…)
If you’re already struggle with a bad memory due to e.g. fatigue or damages on your brain from an accident or from disease, your brain will more likely say “syntax error” when you’re trying remembering stuff. I know that there might be some of you who haven’t heard of “syntax error” and if your dragging with memoryless you might have forgotten what it means. Google it. Continue reading “Coping Strategy when down / depressed pt 6 – Using a Planner”
My humor can be dark. I can be sarcastic and I can make really really REALLY bad jokes. Or I listen in the person I have in front of me, what make that person smile and try to use that, to make that other person smile. But I always try to be funny. Maybe my so called ‘humor’ is rather a disability for me, because there are those times when I can’t make the other one smile. Sometimes due to they don’t understand my joke. Continue reading “Best advice ever how to fully live your life, pt 2”
Today is about how to fully live your life and being the best version of you. Getting control of my life by doing research is a coping strategy for me.Every month you put your entire salary into these savings and you will fight to get a higher salary. Mr Boss must always make sure that you get the highest salary compared to your co-workers. Since you are working so hard compared to the others.
I’ve divided the advice in 8 different areas of your life.
These advices are based on the demands from the world on us. These demands I’ve experienced thru my soon 44 years life experiences, reading blogs, Instagram-surfing, watching YouTube and Facebook-serving. And of cause I got advices from all commercials you see on tv, YouTube and on all other medias. And these advices are for women. I let a man give the men advices.
If you just want to read about one or two of these areas you can go there by clicking on it above. But if you do so you need to read the end of this post.
If you want to fully live your life you need to smile ALL THE TIME! People likes people who are happy and free of problems. Think about how you react when meeting someone with a sad or angry face. Now you understand why. Your weight needs to be perfect and lookout for cellulites! They are tricky bastards.
People that meets you always want you to be newly showered. It can mean that you have to shower 10 or more times every day, but that,s life. You should always have shaved/waxed legs, a brazilian vaxing, waxed chin and jaw. Your nose hair is easily taken care of with a beautiful trimmer, see below. You could use a tweezer instead.
By having the perfume the person you talk to loves, you’ll be more appreciated. So remember to bring small bottles of different perfumes if your going to a big party or a big meeting. Boutiques or other stores often have boxes with different small bottles perfume that you can buy.
You can easily find the information about your type of hair so you buy the correct products for your hair. That information is really important that you get so don’t get ugly, greasy, dry hair. Just google your kind of hair or search for it on YT, instagram and blogs. You can’t just buy an ordinary shampoo and balm in your drugstore because thy have something in them that destroys the quality of your hair.
After wash moisture and styling products are just as important as is the way your drying your hair. DO NOT use a blowdryer! If you do you need to have heating products in your hair and your blowdryer needs to be on the coldest alternative.
For having a chance to be accepted in the society my advice to you is to keep up to date with what style your hair should have that year.
Find the right products for your type of skin in google, blogs, YT, Instagram, FB or similar channels. You can also turn to skin therapists where you live. The products you need are expensive but you don’t want to become a raisin when 25 years old.
Do not forget about the rest of your bodys skin! Remember that you breath with that too. The lotion/cream/butter should have a lovely sense but remember that if you’re wearing perfume your body lotion/cream/butter needs to be without a sense.
There are many persons at YT that have channels about how you put on the make up and what brands you need to have. It’s not to put on mascara and then leaving home. Follow their advices or no-one will ever talk to you. So my advice to fully live your life – makeup makeup makeup.
Another advice to fully live your life is to perm your lashes or do a slashextension. If you do you will save some of the time you would have needed for your mascara work otherwise.
Advices in other aspects of your appearance
Wellpolished, extended nails are especially important if you’e showing your nails at work. And what husband wants a wife with ugly, short nails with bite marks? Stretch marks or cellulites are forbidden. For the love of ‘the higher power’, do NOT have ugly wedding rings. You must have lip-jobs, facial-jobs, botox, boob-jobs, implants on your butt and in other muscles. Lash-extensions, hair-extensions and pedicure most not be forgetting.
Your products are toxic!
I strongly advice you to lookup what all the products you use for your appearance includes. Your products ought to be natural, without all these toxins that are being put into them. Natural, not dangerous for the environment, re-usable, not tested on animals is what you should look for. As I mentioned above; the skin is breathing. Everything you put on your body goes thru the skin to your blood. More or less.
To have energy to fully live your life you have to do workout. Listen to the people around you to understand what sort of workout that is ‘in’ at the time. Then you buy a membership at the most popular gym where you live. You need to impress on your surrounding people at the gym so make sure you’re waring up to date clothing and that your fitness is more than good when you go there.
You’ll need to workout everyday before 6 am. Preferably for two hours. And then remember to drink a lot. Use a water tracker in your planner so you make sure to remember your intake.
At least 8 ours sleep every night. You should not snore, who wants a snoring woman? Have you seen the oldest version of Disney’s ‘Sleeping Beauty’? Then you know what you should look like whilst asleep. NO DREWLING! What ever you do, don’t crinkle your pajamas!
We are very aware these days, luckily, what to eat and what to avoid. There are tons of different diets and advices about what kind of food that you can eat with a good consciences. It’s not easy to choose one but you’re gonna have to. Other ways we’re gonna make such a imprint on the world that it won’t survive.
Take a day, or rather a month, to write on a paper what the different diets are about. What the diet says you can eat, how the product should be produced and transported. How much can you eat and at what time. Do you have to sign up to a program to get the recipes or are they for free? The different diets have different programs, so some of the diets you’ll gonna have a lot of money to participate. Never, ever have a craving for chips or candy!
Choose what fits you and then go all in. I’ thinking about a combination of all diets starting from mars. After that I’m gonna live on water and air. Yes, 2020 is the year I will fully live my life!
Always set aside time for yourself! You’ll search for the true you and go to expensive spas, do massages and do salsa.
Lastly; make sure you have the best P.T., diets and fortune teller.
Having a chronic illness… your out of the game of ‘living your life to the fullest’! But if you decide to join the game anyways;
no complications or symptoms can break your facade
always be strong
be a survivor
climb Mount Everest without using your arms or legs
have fundraisings for your condition
never lie on the bed when your tired
The best advice for you to fully live your life is given to you if you always are being happy and pleasing. Show love to everyone and always be cheerful and be engaged all over in the society. Be healthy, be successful, work work work, sleep much, clean much (and do the cleaning the right way with the right stuff) and your home will always be clinically clean and have the right decorations.
As a human
You shall have 100 sponsored children, personally fight with the drug dealers (give them a knockout punch and take them to jail), give your whole salary to animal and human charity, travel to the other side of the world (not by plain, though) and save an endangered dinosaur fossil. Stand up on the barricades for ill-treated humans and fight against stupid opinions. And for the love of what entity there may be; choose the coolest car! (But it have to be free from gas so it must be driven on lemonade.)
You’ll have to invent medicines that cures the worlds war, world poverty and famine. After that you need to record some music, make a film and the incomes from that will you donate to the ice-machine that will freeze the ice in Antarctica and Arctic.
We can all agree on the fact that bullying in the world that higher men and women and lower men and women (and the ones in between) sometimes exert is not ok. Therefore we must actively end the bullying once and for all and we must get D Trump and other xenophobic people to admit that all people (and animals) in this world have the same worth.
As a parent
You’ll have to participate in the school/schools parenting groups. There you have fundraising’s to the class trips and to the teachers gifts. You’re gonna have to throw the funniest birthday parties for your kids and when they’re in primary and middle school you’ll have to throw the coolest parties of them all.
Never catch a cold but if you do so you shall treat yourself with a household remedy and get well.
Your one and only interest
Your ONLY interest is your family; their schools, their playmates, their sports or music interests, your husbands wellbeing and all his co-workers wellbeing. Despite the fact that your family is your only interest you must be interested in (I know that doesn’t add up, but life is that way) throwing incredible dinners, travels where you’re skiing in the Alpes or sunbathing on a desolate beach or hiking on winding paths in distant mountains.
You need to meditate to get in contact with your spirit guides. You’ll take your spaceship into space to extract strange test from the aliens, get the testsamples back to earth to make alien clones to donate to the zoos.
History and talents
You’re gonna need to know every countries history and know the cause behind countries wars and famine. You should be able to paint beautiful, valuable paintings that will tour between the worlds exclusive exhibitions. At least 700 books will be written of you and all of them must be ranked as no 1 on the worlds booklists. Every bookclub there are in this world (and hopefully even on Mars) will have read these books.
Family, close ones and Social
A must is to be a perfect mother and wife who’s able to cook a 7 courses meal despite your fridge and freezer are being empty. Your home will always need to have fresh, homebaked cookies and cinnamon buns. People will always feel welcome to your home.
Your kids will have to make guests feel well waited and the will always wear clean clothes free from wrinkles. The kids must never ever say any sorts of cursing words, never be lippy and they shall all the days lay on their knees scrubbing the floors. They have rosy cheeks, warm glowing eyes and high grades.
Your children will be kind and helpful towards others and help old ladies crossing the street. Not being out partying with friend but stay at home playing boardgames and always let the other one win.
To win the best-parenting-game you need to play all the time, campout with them and swim in turquoise water and build castles in the sun under a clear, blue sky. When they’re in schools they will have to say that they have the best, funniest and coolest parents.
General advices come to
If your family is going thru a though time all you should need to click your red shoes heels to make all bad things disappear and the world become shimmering. A well tamed and well groomed dog is a must. The dog will meet the postman everyday, get the newspaper from him, bring it in to you and on the way pick up your slippers and a tray with coffee and cockies to you. All the time the dog will wavering his/hers tail.
Of cause you’ll choose a job that are really well-paid. Your working hours will be 9 to 5 but since you are the bosses favorite you can show up whenever you want. This is good since you are blogging, twittering, YouTube-ing, Instagramming, Facebooking and Pinteresting. At work everybody must love you. They have to feel that you are the kindest, funniest and most competent they’ve ever worked with. And competent you are – you know everything there is to know within your occupation.
Every month you put your entire salary into these savings and you will fight to get a higher salary. Mr Boss must always make sure that you get the highest salary compared to your co-workers. Since you are working so hard compared to the others. Put your money into the right funds for saving to your children. The right savings for your pension is something you make sure of as the right stock savings. No loans or credits are allowed.
Self-sufficient and free from toxins
Your home must be self-sufficient. The beautiful villa (situated by a lake with mountains surrounding you, in the middle of New York)that you have shall have meat animals and pet animals. All your veggies, rice and potatoes are grown by you without any toxins or other shit and you make your own pasta in your big, open kitchen.
A flourishing garden with grass greener than the other side of the fence is also a must. Butterflies and birds is a *have to have’ too. Here you will through lavishing parties for neighbors and friends.
Advices for the best indoors appearance
Always have new curtains and opulent plants. The bed shall always be made with 20 matching cushions. Preferably add 16 matching blankets. Homemade, of cause. Mites are strictly banned! Expensive furniture and expensive carpets in all rooms in your villa. No cheep branding when it comes to your toiletpaper or dish-brushes.
Best advice ever how to fully live your life
Are you thinking that this post is a lot of bullish**? That I’m totally f*****-up? GOOD! That’s what I’m hoping for! Welcome back tomorrow!
I guess I’m all into Problem Focused Coping Strategies (that’s not quite true…). I don’t know if you’ve felt that my strategies are problem focused if you’ve read my earlier posts? This is part 5 in my serie about MY coping strategies when down/depressed. You can read part one here. The Coping Strategy I’m gonna talk about today can be put in that problem focused coping strategies category but it can also be put in the category of Emotion Solving Coping Strategies.
Finding additional allies as a way of coping
For me it isn’t about sitting and pondering of ‘what strategies will I use for these problems/emotions’, and I doubt that you are doing a choice of coping strategies deliberately. It just happens when your reaction of the problem/emotion knocks at your door. When I was faced with my diagnosis I choosed to join an association for those with neurological diseases/illnesses to get support and good advices from others in situations as me. When your ‘new’ you don’t know how to handle all emotions and problems, both in the society but also in your social life.
Every second Thursday they gather for a cup of coffee and chatting about everything. It’s a place where oddly enough the main focus isn’t about you having a neurological disease, the main focus is you being able to meet others who doesn’t put you in the “being sick category”. Because I’ve been working or having healthcare appointments there are many gatherings I’ve not been able to attend. But on one of those I could attend last year ended up in me and my father joining Wings for life.
Coping with your disabilities
For me a big problem for me has been and is me not being able to walk. Walking is something I loved doing my whole life. And there’s another aspect to it; if you want to get from point A to point B – how do you get there? I had a wheelchair already at home so people could drive me when my legs failed me. Just so I would be able to go to vacation and similar without anything hindering me. After my attending in that Wings for Life my companions in that neurological association had a serious talk with me – they told me how to do to get a wheelchair like theirs.
They didn’t need to ‘talk me into’ that. I knew I needed and wanted a chair like theirs. It would be a freedom for me having that kind of chair. So last year I got one. I also learnt about ‘Rullegruppen‘, ‘the Wheeling group’. It’s a group where they teach how to wheel with the most minimal use of energy, how take yourself over hinders on your way etc. But they also play sports together.
Emotion focused and problem focused coping
Just to clear how I think when I categorize the strategies I used when having problems with my disability. I also remind you that this categorization I didn’t do at the time, this categorization is made looking back at ‘my situation’.
Emotions where highly involved when I realized that my walks were under threat. By getting myself a wheelchair I could drive myself gave me a freedom and increased my self confidence. Instead of feeling ‘I can do nothing’, ‘my life is over’ I gave myself the ability to think ‘I can do this’, ‘I can go wherever I want’ (not quite true, but yet). I used emotion focused coping strategies.
That I also used Problem focused coping strategies is I guess rather obvious. I also believe that many would say that every action I took where problem focused and so I thought too. Since I was going to write this post I had to toss and turn my ways of solving the problem and emotions over and over again. It ended up with my conclusion that I used both of these coping strategies.
Sense of belonging, not being seen as a sick person and know where I can ask for advices due to being sick
No matter whether you healthy or sick, young or old, working or not working, rich or poor, fat or thin, wimp or popular we all need a context where we can feel safe, accepted, being able to laugh ’til you cry or cry ’til you laugh and so on. Being lonely is an option that people can chose or being forced to be. Some of them who chose this don’t want to have it other way, while many don’t want to be alone.
Humans are mostly pack animals. We need our packs and they can consist of family, relatives, friends. We also have different packs – packs at home, packs at work (but the members of our pack at work aren’t always the ones we would choose) and packs in our sparetime. Me finding a pack in the neurological community was a way for me to cope with my new reality. I wanted to see others and see how well or not well they functioned in their everyday. Learn from them. You know the saying of “not inventing the wheel again”? Well, why should I do that when I could learn of their experiences?
When seeking others like you can go wrong
When I began going to these meet-ups I must admit that my patients fear had rubbed of at me. As a nurse in cancer treatment I have several times informed patients about the different association their type of cancer can contact for support, questions etc. Many patients have said that they don’t want to talk with others in their situation cause it would be a reminder for them that their sick. Some have felt “I don’t want to meet others and making each other depressed because a constant talk about the sick part of us”. Some have felt that if they have any questions or problems they need to solve they prefer asking the healthcare, even though an association would have more experience about certain matters.
I’m not saying that everybody has to join an association. It all depends on how you feel and what kind of use you would have of it. It’s up to you. And of cause, there are associations that probably just makes people feel more sick than they are. Who makes you feel depressed about your situation and they just feed that sense of “it’s not fair” and the thoughts about how unfair everything about their disease/illness is. I’ve met that kind of people when working as their nurse. I would not be helped by joining the same association as them…
My recommendation is that you try finding an association for your illness/disease and meet the people a couple of times. Then make the decision if the association can benefit you.
Coping strategies: laughter and trying disabled sports
Almost every week the ‘Rullegruppen’ also do sports. They’ve tried e.g. bowling, archery and I’ve participated in floor ball and goal ball. Soon we’re going a way for a day to try downhill skiing. There are also sorts of camps you can go to where they let participants try many different sorts of adaptive sports. Not all cities in Sweden have a well adapted forum for disabled to participate in or up hold their interests for sports. Where I live there aren’t to many alternatives but with ‘Rullegruppen’ I get to try some alternatives. But we’re not in any tournaments.
We have two very active faces in our group and thanks to them and some other citizens we in wheelchair will be able to take part of several runs during the spring and summer. I really need to start practicing wheeling longer distances… Attending those practices with the ‘Rullegruppen’ have given me so much. Advices and a incredible fun time doing these sports together. It doesn’t matter that we’re in wheelchairs our wills to win that game is just as strong and everyone is giving their best. Lots of laughters and lots of crashes. I’ve gotten the responsibility to bring the first aid-kit.
My coping strategies ‘finding a new community and an identity not being the Sick’
I guess I can be thankful of not being a person that just sit down on a sofa saying “it’s all over, I will never have fun again”. I know, there are so much that you have to think about when getting an illness/disease so you don’t have the strength to also having to look for things you never did before, like for me ‘learning to use a wheelchair’.
The three others in my family, my husband and my kids, have had their sports that they’ve been going away and practicing one-several times a week. I go to see my shrink. Or my doctor. Or leaving blood samples. Now I finally got a place to go to and meet others. I’m not saying that I don’t appreciate meeting my friends for before, they now that they are essential to me.
But I used to sing in a choir before
I haven’t done that for some years now. One of the purposes with singing in a choir was to meet others and do something together. People that most of them I had no contact with outside our singing but while singing we had and did something together. Difficult to say what I mean… ‘Rullegruppen’ has given me this kind of context again. I have a place and a ‘task’ to attend to every week. At least I need that.
Have your illness/disease given you opportunities that you didn’t have before? Have you joined some sort of association after your diagnosis? How do you feel about being part of association tied to your illness/disease?
YES! There I dropped my bomb ! I’m so excited about this! And scared. Sanna is taking me on a journey to become a instructor in child-and youth yoga and I’m finally looking into a future where I’m able to do what I love; do something for others and I will work. And it will be a job where I’m able to decide my working days. It doesn’t matter that I can only work for 1-2 hours maybe once a week, I will still be employed. Employed by me. Continue reading “Positive changes – I’m turning my coping strategy ‘yoga’ into my job”
Are you having a rough time? Is the world and the whole universe laughing and pointing fingers at you? Are you depressed or just feeling a little low? In this serie about coping strategies I’m sharing my tool case of coping strategies. Hopefully you’ll find a strategy to ease your day at least to some degree, that you hadn’t thought about as a strategy. Or maybe I can just show you what ‘coping strategy’ means. You can find the first episode here, and if my PPMS treats me the way it does today I’m gonna post ones a week about MY strategies, on Wednesdays (sometime during the Swedish daytime 😉 ) Continue reading “Coping strategy when down/depressed pt 4: Listen to podcasts”
Don’t feel like doing anything? I’m in that state several times a week. Somedays I’m in that state for whole the day. When nothing seems fun, and I can’t stand hearing any noice, like music/tv/pods, I take a pen and either an empty paper or my bullet journal or my diary and let the pen move by itself. Sometimes it becomes a doodle, sometimes it becomes nothing and sometimes it ends up with me holding a watercolor brush painting something.Continue reading “Coping strategy when down/depressed pt 3: Doodles”
I can say that I’m in a period where I bounce between all the strategies I’ve got. Last week I started what hopefully becomes a serie where I write about my coping strategies that I use when I am feeling down or depressed. Or at least I am trying to feel better with the help of one or all of them. Some days everything just sucks… Last week I told you about my reading-strategy. Today is all about music. If you don’t like music, stop reading now because your going to feel that the rest of this post is just shit.Continue reading “Coping Strategy when depressed or feeling down pt 2”
Feeling down is something you can do no matter having an illness or not. But if you do have an illness/disease (please, teach me which of these two words that is correct) the risk is higher for days, or moments, when you feel shitty. Or getting a depression. There are so many factors that can make you feel under the ice. You can have dozens of strategies to prevent it but yet you get down.
Coping strategies – do what you love
I plan (it almost never goes as I plan, nowadays…) to make a sort post every week where I’ll share one or two thing that I tend to reach for when I’m down or depressed (been depressed for a long time now, but I think I found the ladder up from that hole). The important do when fatigued or depressed or down is to take a break (or when fatigued; take away one of the days task and put in a “funtime” instead). Think about the things you used to love and write them down. Yes, I’ve done that, because there will be days where it will be difficult to find out what makes you feel good. At least you’ll have that list to pick things to do from.
The really shitty days
And believe me, they will be there. Those days none of those things on your list makes you feel better. But look at the list, choose the thing there that is most likely to “spark joy”. If that doesn’t help, chose another thing from your list and keep on doing so until you’ve find something that makes you feel a little bit better. Or until you’ve run out of time…
What can happen those days when everything on your list are boring is that you suddenly might of something that’s not on your list that you would like to do. For me it was a sudden enlighten-moment where reading books popped up. I used to love reading books and last year, 2019, I don’t think I read more than 2 books. This moment was just some days ago and since then I’ve read every night before sleep.
Todays “what I love” will be about books
I used to read most in summertime. On the beach or in or furniture on our sundeck. And since I live in one of Swedens rainiest towns the summer days with sun can be spars but then I lay on our sofa. When our kids where newborns I used to read while nursing them, especially during nighttime, to keep me awake. When we didn’t have any children or when I stopped nursing them it was common that I read while my husband fell asleep on my tummy with my hands hand fingers in his hair. Just last night he said that he misses those moments. We never gets to bed the same nowadays. I get to bed and read somewhere between 7.30-8-30 p.m. because I’m so tired and I know that the longer I stay up, the more tired I’ll be the next day.
But I do love books! And I read most kinds of books. I read fantasy, facts (but these books are not so many, love, crime etc. I tend to lean on crime when I need something “easy” to read. Right now I’m reading Khaled Hosseinis “Och bergen svarade” (And the Mountains Echoed)
Every night I have to force me to put the down the book so I’m not awake too long. It’s that good! Do you read or have you read a book you want to share the title of? I’d be grateful! My goal is to make this my new evening routine ’cause it has made me fall a sleep easier. Who knows, maybe I’m able to quit taking sleeping pills!
On Thursday I went to the coffee date our neurology group has every second Thursday. It ended up we me participating on their team for Wings for Life World Run yesterday and me finding out my limits. When it comes to distance I’m able to walk.